How Does She Get So Dirty All The Time?

Sandy likes the Enterprise off-leash area. There’s an interesting pond there, and it turns out its so shallow she can run across it to the other side.


Enterprise Off-Leash Area

The first time she realized that, she was already ON the other side. I thought she’d head for the hills, but when I called her, she came running around the pond and showed up at the gate to the OLA. She was so proud of herself! It must have been just like a Disneyland ride. “Open the gate! I want to try that again!” And she did, several times. Charging across the pond, waiting until I called her, and then running up to the gate so I could let her back in again.


After a few circuits around the pond, Sandy shakes the dog. This doesn't mean the dog is dry.

The pond has bull rushes growing around it so dogs can disappear into the pond. There's plenty of room to run on dry land as well, and bunnies on the other side of the fence in the Shaw cable equipment yard. It's a great place to dig a hole.


There is something good between the top of this hole and the bottom of it.

Just past the off-leash area are the dirt trails to the places where homeless guys live, and people let their dogs run free. There are railroad tracks. There's a creek. There're lots of good smells. People come to watch the birds. Apparently, this place is on some sort of list of good places to go to watch the birds. One day Sandy and I were in the off-leash area when I noticed a couple watching us from the other side of the fence.

It turns out they were from out of town, and they thought the area was fenced to keep dogs out. I had to explain to them that here in Kelowna, dogs aren't allowed to go anywhere unless they're fenced in. They were amazed. It made no sense to them. When I thought about it made no sense to me, either.

Today the dog association had a little cleanup of the Enterprise OLA. In less than 30 minutes, half a dozen of us cleaned up the park. We didn't find much dog poop, but we did find lots of other interesting stuff. I thought I had the find the day with the baggie of stems and seeds. But someone else found three unopened beers! I swear to God we're licensing the wrong species.

The Last Refuge Of A Scoundrel

Shortly after Sandy came to live with us, I won a bag of Pets First dog food. I fed that for several months, and then I changed to Nutro. She liked it better, it cost about the same, and I didn’t have to get it 40lbs at a time.

More than two years later, someone from Pets First phoned to say they’d noticed I hadn’t been getting Pets First food, and why was that? I explained that I was feeding Nutro that Sandy liked it and I was going to stick with it.

This guy said, “Well you know Nutro is an American product.”
“Well you know,” I replied, “I’m an American. So I don’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing.”

“Well I just mean that sometimes it’s good to support a local business,” was his comeback.

Here’s the thing. It’s not as if I have the Nutro trucked in just for my dog. I am supporting a local business that buys Nutro from a Canadian distributor and I pay for it in Canadian dollars. If the only positive thing he could say about Pets First is that Nutro is an American product, I really have to wonder how the hell they are marketing Pets First in Washington State. Give your head a shake, man.

Samuel Johnson’s quote comes to mind: Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel. And appropriately enough, Johnson apparently meant false patriotism, not patriotism in general.

Homeland Security

Sandy is an All-Canadian, and maybe part Belgian Malinois. She stands on guard for us. Sandy has been key in the development of the Milkbone Threat Advisory System. It is a model of All-Canadianism.

The Milkbone Threat Advisory is bi-lingual, and although modeled after the system used by another large North American nation, this system has six levels instead of five.

Milkbone Threat Advisory
There are six Threat Conditions, each identified by a description and a corresponding Milkbone Flavour. From lowest to highest the levels and colours are:

Squirrel = Vegetable
Cat = Cheese
Garbage Man = Milk
Familiar Dog = Bone
Unfamiliar Dog = Liver
FedEx Delivery Guy = Meat


Milkbone Threat Advisory System

Menace Consultative Milkbone
Il y a six états de menace, chacun identifié par une description et une saveur correspondante de Milkbone. De le plus bas le plus haut aux niveaux et aux couleurs soyez:

Écureuil = Légume
Chat = Fromage
Homme D'Ordures = Lait
Chien Familier = Os
Chien Peu familier = Foie
Type De la Livraison De FedEx = Viande